I had a counsellor's appointment today. She asked me what was the best thing right now. I couldn't think of anything. I mean there are good things. But what defines "best"? Finally, after a minute or two I said, "my house is clean." Which isn't really that clean right now, but it's not bad. I felt embarrassed that the only best thing I could come up with was my obsessive compulsive tendencies to clean my house 24/7. So, I kept thinking. She then asked me what am I worrying about most right now. Which of course is money and I answered her almost instantly. She pointed out to me how easy it is to pick up on the negative things in our life. And that I need to stop every day and think about the good things. Even if it is just one and even if it is just the house being clean. After a good five minutes, I did come up with some things I'm working on and a few other things. On the drive home, I decided I'm using the dry erase board in my kitchen to start writing down one thing everyday that's "best" or that I'm happy about or grateful for. A positive thought that I can see and remind myself of.
She also asks me every time I go there what I'm doing for me. Sad to say, I rarely do things just for me. I have intentions. Honestly I do. But good intentions don't go very far when it comes to being healthy. I'm one of these people who has to schedule me time. That's just so sad. At the end of the visit though, I did realize I have a few projects that I'm going to be working on that can be my me time. It will tap into my creative juices and get them flowing again. This can help.
On a completely different note, I feel very betrayed by the military today. Things that we've been battling for a while now have finally come to a close. And now begins more struggles and frustrations. I just feel completely let down by his previous chain of command. I normally wouldn't say stuff like this because it always comes back to bite ya. But I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut. I'm tired of not saying what I think or feel because it could backlash into something worse. I'm speaking my mind today (without going into detail) and that's that. It really sucks when you've gone through all the things you've been through and your chain of command drops you like a hot potato when you need support and understanding.
But, on the good side, we're looking at another change in our life story. Our plans to PCS to Korea have been cancelled. My husband is being medically discharged. He got the paperwork today to begin the med board process. This is a "best" thing!! My husband has been deployed 4 times. He's suffering from so many health problems. The PTSD he suffers from has consumed our lives. This is the best thing for him. I'm really pleased with this. There will be more to this story in the future I'm sure. Hopefully it'll be good stories and not crap like we've been dealing with lately.
God has a plan for us. I know this. And I can only tell myself that the struggles we're going through right now are leading to something else. There is a mean to the purpose.
We're gonna be fine. :)
My family...they're always there for me!
Med Board started
Clean smelling laundry
Craft projects to work on
Headache is finally going away
Heat (yes...it's cold here!!)
Snuggles from my dog
spooning with my cat